


HIStory3; Trapped - SELFISH [LikeCP]

by WonpilsPiano



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Gay Character, Gay Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22496617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonpilsPiano/pseuds/WonpilsPiano
Relationships: Jack | Fang Liang Dian & Zhao Li An | Zhao Zi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	HIStory3; Trapped - SELFISH [LikeCP]

_Ding Dong_! _Ding Dong_!

The doorbell suddenly sounded, startling Zhao Zi. 

He rushed to the window and looked down only to see Jack standing there, drenching in the unceasing rain.   
  
  


_How did he get here_? He quietly asked himself. There was no vehicle parked nearby so he deduced that Jack had either taken a taxi, walked or ran here. The latter two were definitely impossible.   
  


He ran down from his room to the front door and bust the door open. 

"....Jack?" He asked quizzically.   
  


Before him stood Jack, dripping wet and breathing heavily as if he had just run here. The water made his hair stick to his face and the whole picture made him come off as distraught and crestfallen.   
  


"I'm sorry, I lied."   
  


"What did you lie about?" Zhao Zi was not following any of this.   
  


A moment ago he was being utterly flustered while chatting with a person he thought was at least on the other end of town but, in the blink of an eye, they were both standing at his door facing each other.   
  


One person was still trying to piece together what was happening while the other attempted to get words out of his mouth even though his lips were badly trembling from the cold.   
  


"I lied that I could wait as long as it took for you to make up your mind about us. I'm not strong enough ....I couldn't wait another minute to see you." His eyes were bloodshot. He looked as if he'd been troubled by this all his life.   
  
  


"Jack, what are you doing?" Zhao Zi was still catching up. He had not expected any of this therefore his dilemma balanced between bringing Jack into the house to first dry him off or dumbly standing there and listening to what else Jack had to say.   
  
  


His blood rushed so hard through his body he could hear his pulse beat loudly in his ears.   
  


"Zhao Zi, ever since the day I met you, I haven't been able to think clearly even for a minute. I'm crazy whenever I think about you and I can't wait to see you every day. I don't even know when my feelings became this extreme but what I can say with all certainty is that I want you!"  
  


"Jack ..."  
  


"Don't you have any feelings for me at all?" Jack's pleading face held a heavy desperation.   
  
  


Zhao Zi was so dumbfounded he couldn't say anything. His mind ran a mile a minute, feeling so awkward being put on the spot like this.   
  
  


He wished to find any words to justify his bungling silence but while he racked his brain, Jack did nothing but stand there, icy droplets of rain ruthlessly beating down oh his face and head. He didn't seem to mind it.   
  
  


The hope in his eyes still burned fiery hot. He looked on, waiting for the words he longed so much to hear come out of Zhao Zi's beautiful lips.   
  
  


His heart hammered in his chest as the seconds that passed by felt like eons. Until this moment, his life had been pretty simple and straightforward. Except for when he was putting himself in the line of fire while living his disingenuous life, this was the first time he was feeling this kind of fear.   
  
  


It somehow felt like a life and death situation. Zhao Zi's one word was the only difference between him and total neurasthenia or momentous euphoria.   
  
  


Jack's whole world hung in the balance in this very moment. Earlier, he had grown impatient from the loneliness just sitting in the bar alone. With this kind of rainy weather, catching a taxi was damn near impossible in the city and calling someone to come pick him up seemed like it would take longer than his heart was willing to take.   
  


Finally, with only one person's image plastered in his mind and his heart emphatically bursting with the need to see his desired one, Jack managed to run five kilometers in the rain.   
  


Despite all that, the cold and numbness in his veins felt like nothing as he stood here now.   
  
  


Still, Zhao Zi remained mute.   
  


Earlier on the phone, it had been easier to dodge Jack's relentless prodding but here he couldn't run away or simply text back frivolous replies.   
  


A large gust of wind chose that moment to heavily blow past them causing the once rooted Jack to suddenly shiver like a lone leaf on a windy day.   
  
  


Seeing the pitiful sight of the tall man in front of him looking like a drowned rat, Zhao Zi temporarily forgot about Jack's urgent matters. He couldn't take this image of Jack enduring such great affliction anymore considering part of it was his fault.   
  


"I told you to use an umbrella when it rains!" Zhao Zi immediately chided. The worry in his tone of voice was as real as the feelings boiling in Jack's chest cavity, "now look, you're gonna get sick for no reason and end up troubling people! Quick, get inside!"  
  
  


Zhao Zi wrapped his delicate fingers around Jack's wrist and dragged him into the house, naturally kicking the door shut behind him as he towed the shuddering Jack into the warm interior.   
  


Jack's skin had become deathly white with no trace of color on it. His sodden clothes clung to him like a second skin and the sight of it left a painful pang in Zhao Zi's chest. He wondered in his heart how bad it was for Jack to bring this upon himself.   
  


Not to say that any of this was easy for his own heart. Over the past few days, all he bore in his thoughts was Jack. He was haunted by Jack's enthusiastic smile that couldn't seem to leave his mind.   
  


The adoring looks he had when they talked and the little things he did; like make him lunch and personally deliver it to his work almost every day.   
  


Perhaps Jack did it because he had too much free time on his hands but whatever his motivations, it still left a deep impression in Zhao Zi's heart. He was becoming accustomed to a certain type of treatment.   
  


As someone who lived alone, had no close relatives and his only friends were also his workmates, Zhao Zi was always careful with people outside of his accustomed circle. His job had also helped instill in him an air of cautiousness. But however much he tried to resist this new encounter, Jack stood out in his heart. He was new and exciting and mysterious. And more than that he was kind and caring.   
  


Not forgetting handsome!  
  


Sooner or later he would have to make a decision whether he wanted to let Jack be the first person to occupy his heart. It was not an easy decision. No doubt Jack's constant importunity was becoming harder and harder to just brush aside as mere clowning.   
  


He regardfully led Jack upstairs, not minding the water that he tracked along the floor with each step. His only concern now was Jack's health. 

His own guilt was tremendous but it would have to wait because Jack looked like he was going to collapse any minute now.   
  


Upstairs, Zhao Zi got busy as a bee. Jack let him do as he wanted. He could not easily get an answer from Zhao Zi but, as his eyes followed Zhao Zi's frantic movements, he noticed that something else was at play here.   
  


Zhao Zi truly cared for him. Worry flowed out of his eyes and actions completely unmasked. It didn't have to be blatant love because Jack's heart was already in disarray. How could he not adore this small-bodied bundle of comfort and all the right kinds of charm?  
  


Though his migraine throbbed hard, it was still overshadowed by the intensity of his enthusiastically thumping heart.   
  


The way Zhao Zi led him and made him stand underneath the shower head and then rushed to fetch a fresh towel, his movements seemed so natural as if he was always meant to do this.   
  
  


Jack had not moved up until now. He just robotically stood there completely mesmerized by Zhao Zi.   
  
  


Zhao Zi, however, only assumed that the biting cold was what had eventually rendered Jack immobile. That only helped ignite his fear. He worried that Jack would get seriously sick if he did not get warm as soon as possible  
  


Gracefully, he gripped the collar ends of Jack's biker jacket, smoothly slid it off his shoulders and then took it off. He tossed it carelessly to the floor and proceeded to unbutton the wet, black dress shirt that adhered to Jack's icy skin, a button at a time.   
  


As this was happening, Zhao Zi noticed nothing out of the ordinary. His face still held the innocence mixed with disquietude of a person that was only helping out his languid friend. His warm fingers kept accidentally brushing against Jack's torso every now and then, unknowingly causing thousands of tiny stimulating currents to surge through Jack's body.   
  
  


Sirens blared inside Jack's head signaling imminent danger. His blood boiled upon the realization that Zhao Zi was not doing this to him on purpose. His skin burned as if a thousand fire ants were attacking him.   
  


Jack had never felt so high. His eyes swept down, capturing Zhao Zi's breathtaking beauty; the beauty that was quickly expelling the numbing cold from his body. He scanned Zhao Zi's ruby red lips that were folded in a concentrating frown.   
  


His whole body may have been freezing but his heart was having a spring day. Happiness blossomed gracefully within him from the feeling of Zhao Zi taking care of him. He so badly wanted to reach out and pluck the the fragrant flower petals that were Zhao Zi's lips.   
  
  


Perhaps his urgent, arduous run in the heavy rain to get here was the gift that had just begun giving.   
  


When he got to the final button, Zhao Zi's movements suddenly ceased. He hadn't really paid much attention to what he has been doing until now when he realized he was literally undressing Jack.   
  


Jack didn't have on an undershirt so, as a result, when he undid his shirt, he was presented with a stunning view of Jack's lucent chest and abdominal muscles. 

Under the bright bathroom light, the paleness of Jack's body reflected a strong brilliance that was almost blinding to Zhao Zi's eyes.   
  


Zhao Zi was rendered inarticulate for a few seconds. The atmosphere suddenly became tense. His fingers trembled, pulling back before he could work on that last button.   
  


His petite fingers reached for the towel that was hanging from his shoulders apprehensively and squeezed as if it would give his precarious heart some reassurance. He was terribly worried about what he had just done, afraid that he might have unintentionally done something irreversible.   
  


He only wanted to help Jack quickly get out of his wet clothes and take a hot shower so that he wouldn't fall sick but had ended up creating a different kind of situation. 

He felt like a dear caught in the headlights. He wondered whether Jack could read his thoughts; because, if he could, he would have known for certain that Zhao Zi had been aroused just now by the sheer glance at Jack's naked upper body.   
  


"I...I'm sorry!" Zhao Zi's voice trembled shyly, leaving his eyes downcast because he was afraid of what expression Jack's face would have on if he looked up, "I'll leave this towel here and I've put a fresh set of clothes on the bed for you to wear when you're done. Shower quickly before you get too cold."  
  


When he made to go outside, Jack's hand immediately reached out and held his wrist, preventing him from moving another inch, "Wait ... don't go yet!" Jack begged with a whisper.   
  


Zhao Zi really did not want to stay here another minute. His temples were already throbbing as the early signs of an impending migraine manifested. His nervousness was intensified when he turned back to be greeted by the acute expression on Jack's face.   
  


He felt like he could shrink under Jack's attention but he told himself that he had to remain strong. He couldn't let his heart be feeble. He had his own reasons why he couldn't crumble at every one of Jack's words however enticing they sounded to the ear, "You're about to take a shower, why would I stay?!" He put on an aloof front as he uttered.   
  


Despite his best, well ..mediocre, efforts to escape this situation, Jack was not one to give up easily. Not because it was a kind of challenge or anything, but because he had something urgent he needed to do now that Zhao Zi's flushed face glowed so perfectly before him.   
  
  


His selfish motivations were what had driven him here in the first place and it was those selfish needs of his that also ignited the flames of passion inside his body.   
  


All he saw in his eyes was Zhao Zi. The way Zhao Zi delicately batted his eyelids that were donned with the longest, most endearing lashes that came off more as feminine. The way he worried his lower lip nervously between his teeth so hard that it turned sanguine -a sight that almost set fire to Jack's eyes.   
  


The more he looked at Zhao Zi, the more he fell in love. It begun to make sense to him how he could love this grown man who somehow still looked like a rare, delicate flower that required the highest level of tender, loving care. It wasn't just his dazzling smile, it was the way it made a person feel as if the first warm rays of the morning sun were finally hitting your face after decades of frosty lonesomeness.   
  
  


It was a mystery why loving such an adorable person gave him this kind of raging thrill however. Jack needed to reach out and touch that burning fire that was beckoning to him. There was just no other way about it.   
  
  


Taking advantage of Zhao Zi's bewilderment, Jack moved forward and hooked his sturdy arm around Zhao Zi's slender waist then pulled him towards himself. All of this happened within a fraction of a second leaving no time for him to react whatsoever.   
  
  


Jack's lips descended upon Zhao Zi's in a flash, heatedly capturing the lip that was trapped between his teeth.   
  
  


Zhao Zi quivered.   
  


The second kiss.   
  


This was the second kiss he was sharing with Jack.   
  
  


His whole body was completely flush against Jack's cold, hard one but it still felt hot being held like this. Even though he was shocked by this sudden turn of events, his eyes still involuntary closed when Jack sucked with his soft lips.   
  


Unlike last time, this time Jack pried Zhao Zi's lips apart as he kissed him and invaded his mouth deeper using his tongue. His teeth nibbled and teased while his hot tongue searched and seized Zhao Zi's tongue.   
  


Zhao Zi had never been kissed like this. The action was only happening to his lips but his whole body ignited as sparks of electricity sailed through his spine, causing a maniacal arousal to overtake his entire being.   
  
  


The little hairs on his body stood at alert when Jack's rough hands ran up his back, pulling him even more impossibly close into him. This was an addiction that Jack did not want to overcome.   
  


These lips were so supple and juicy they were basically begging to be kissed. From day one, ever since Jack laid his eyes on Zhao Zi, his mind had already been made up. It was his first time ever seeing such faultless beauty.   
  


Zhao Zi had those big, round, guileless eyes that made Jack feel emptiness if he wasn't looking at them.   
  
  


Zhao Zi somehow left a stronger longing in Jack with every one of their goodbyes, inasmuch as he could have a moment like this, he couldn't help wishing in his head over and over again that it would last forever.   
  


Thinking of his fast approaching departure, Jack almost broke out in tears. He couldn't imagine not being able to see Zhao Zi again, to taste the most delectable lips or feel the comforting feeling Zhao Zi's presence effortlessly provided.   
  


Even now he did not want to let go of Zhao Zi's lips. He was losing his mind as he held this man that felt so much like a part of him. His lower half started to get stimulated and soon, Zhao Zi felt a hard thing poking at his stomach.   
  


His eyes immediately widened when he noticed what it was. Jack was grinding into him while he continued to suck the breath out of Zhao Zi. He was completely engaged in the act but, as all good things always seem to come to an end, Zhao Zi suddenly woke up from his reverie and realized what he was actually doing.   
  


Without saying a word, he looked up into Jack's face with the most terrified expression before pushing himself off and running fast out of the bathroom.   
  


He made his way through his bedroom and down the stairs, his heart beating against his rib cage savagely. He buried his face into the couch and punched the cushions hard as if it would erase what has just happened.   
  


That kiss had felt different than the last. It felt like Jack was trying to devour him whole and if he had continued to indulge him that was exactly what would have happened.   
  


His restraints weren't strong enough to begin with so this suddenly charged atmosphere was not good for him.   
  


There was no denying that Zhao Zi was happiest when he was with Jack. It was no secret. He had even made it known to Jack a few days ago.   
  


He was the only person who waited for him and took care of him. That was a rare occurrence in Zhao Zi's empty life. He had friends, sure, but none of those relationships were especially special.  
  
  


But now there was this tall, handsome man clamoring for his attention. This was a man who not only saw him for who he really was but also did his best to put a smile on his face.   
  


Jack treated him as a friend and also a precious jewel and Zhao Zi got the feeling that there was no pretense behind Jack's smiles when they were together.   
  


So what was making him so hesitant? Jack liked him. He wanted to have a real relationship with him but he couldn't bring himself to say 'yes'.   
  
  


Zhao Zi put his feet on the couch, raised his knees and leaned back then hugged a plushie close to his chest and closed his eyes. His heart ached even when the stimulative sensations were still fresh and coursing through his body.   
  
  


He licked his lips and remembered Jack's taste from earlier. The hint of an alcoholic trace from Jack's mouth still lingered on Zhao Zi's lips. It was intoxicating and exhilarating. But still Zhao Zi remained worried.   
  


He was afraid for his heart. Jack's feelings may have been sincere but it was still unchartered territory for Zhao Zi. He did not want to rush putting his heart out there only for it to turn out to be quicksand ready to sink him.   
  


He squeezed his eyes so tight tears escaped through the corners. He quickly wiped them off and tried to remain calm but his gut still twisted and his heart continued to beat erratically.   
  


Meanwhile, Jack was finished with his shower. Zhao Zi had left his most oversized clothes out for Jack to wear but when Jack put them on they were still a bit snug. Jack smirked amusedly at this realization.   
  


He made his way downstairs while his left hand was busy drying his hair with a small towel. His body temperature had gotten back to a normal level and now he felt warmer and more refreshed.   
  


He emitted a dominating manly aura as he came down the stairs. When he spotted Zhao Zi sitting with his head buried into a pink plushie, his steps halted.   
  


Not knowing what possessed him earlier to come on so strong, he now felt like slapping himself for possibly scaring the little guy.   
  


Cautiously, he moved closer until he sat beside Zhao Zi. Zhao Zi looked up as soon as he noticed the weight shift on the cushions. Jack was just sitting there quietly, busy drying his hair.   
  


"I didn't mean to-"   
  


"Why is your hair still wet? You'll get a cold!" Because Zhao Zi was not interested in having this discussion, he cut Jack off mid-sentence and opted to change the entire subject altogether. 

He tossed the plushie to the side and took the towel from Jack's hand forcibly. Kneeling on the couch, he made himself busy helping dry Jack's head.   
  
  


Jack was surprised by Zhao Zi's quick movements that he just remained silent. The slender fingers caressed his scalp gently and even that alone sent titillating waves all through his body.   
  


At this point, honestly, anything Zhao Zi did aroused Jack exponentially. And now that he was so close to him, it took everything in Jack not to perform every deviated thought and instinct he harbored in his mind and heart.   
  


After Zhao Zi was done, he sat back down and evasively turned on the TV to a random channel because the silence in the room was almost deafening.   
  


"Have you eaten anything?" After the quiet had persisted for too long, Zhao Zi was still the first to feel uncomfortable enough to break it. 

If Jack answered with a 'no' then that would provide him with the perfect opportunity to leave and go to the kitchen. He needed to go somewhere else so that he could breathe properly, perhaps find a sink and splash some water on his hot face.   
  


"Yes, I already ate. I'm good." Jack's monotone concluded that this uncomfortable awkwardness would have to continue.   
  


Another five minutes went by and neither of them said anything. The TV played on but nobody was paying any attention to it. It only served the purpose of a white noise machine, except less calming.   
  
  


Zhao Zi only had questions running wild through his mind. _What's going on? ...Why can't he say something? ... what does he want from me? ...what's wrong with me that I can't stop thinking about the kiss?!_  
  
  


Finally, when he couldn't take anymore, Jack turned to his side to glance at Zhao Zi. His face was straight and composed but his insides were whirling like a tornado in a sand desert. 

How to begin? Should he be serious about his confession or take a step back for the sake of Zhao Zi's peace of mind?  
  


He remembered Zhao Zi telling him how happy he was to have him in his life. Zhao Zi might not have noticed the kind of impact that statement had had on Jack's heart but that was the precise moment Jack had made up his mind.   
  
  


He had to have this boy. No matter what it took. He had to love him. To devotedly appreciate every aspect of him; his body, head to toe, and his beautiful heart.   
  


They were both lonely in their own ways and he wanted them to heal each other. That was the dream.   
  


"Zhao Zi ... do you hate it when I kiss you?" Not that he wanted to pry any further into Zhao Zi's feelings but for a man that at most had only a few days to stay in town, Time was of the essence.   
  
  


There was no use dragging things too long. Right here, right now, he was determined to find out what this was between them.   
  


Zhao Zi appeared enervated as if this whole ordeal was sucking out his life force bit by bit. Then, with a low voice like he didn't want to use any effort, he muttered, "No.."  
  
  


His slender fingers played together as he kept his eyes affixed to the floor as if it was the most interesting part of the room.   
  


It broke Jack's heart. Slowly, he reached forward and cupped one of Zhao Zi's cheeks, turning him so that they faced each other, "Talk to me, please."  
  


The frown between Jack's eyebrows deepened. His eyes searched Zhao Zi's for any traces of a reaction but Zhao Zi just sat there, staring back at him blankly like he had somehow forgotten how to speak.   
  
  


And that's how they spent the next two minutes; in total silence again.   
  
  


Zhao Zi wanted to speak, he really did. To be able to say anything so that Jack wouldn't look so anxious but he was afraid if he opened his mouth, tears would flow out endlessly.   
  


Why did he feel like crying? It was because he felt trapped. Jack's confession didn't suffocate him; it was his own head that was messing with him. Chances were that, no matter how strong Jack's feelings were, his may have been stronger.   
  


Without realizing it, his heart had become completely dependent on Jack. You could say his feelings were nearing an obsessive level. Up until now, he had been good at hiding it, making it seem as if he could do with or without Jack but in truth he couldn't do without.   
  
  


He longed to be held tight in Jack's arms. He wanted to spend cold, rainy nights, like tonight, together. He wanted to snuggle with Jack in the couch and talk about nothing for extended periods of time. He needed to be reassured that Jack would stay by his side forever.   
  


Warm food on cold days ...ostentatious picnic dates in the park on the weekends ...sharing a tub of popcorn and drinking from the same cup at the movies ... long, silly talks over the phone late into the night. Zhao Zi selfishly wanted it all. And he only wanted to do it with Jack.   
  


"I really do like you, Zhao Zi," Jack continued, holding Zhao Zi's trembling hands in his own. He rubbed small circles on the backs of them, trying to soothe him, "I don't know what I can do to reassure you of that. ..I like kissing you, spending time with you .. seeing your smile is always the best part of my day. I like that, even though your grandmother died and the world might be scary sometimes for you being all alone, you're still the best person. You try to be happy and there for your friends as much as you can... you work hard at your job and you never complain to anyone. And I love it when you let me take care of you.., the fact that you chose to be my friend even though I'm a gangster. You don't know much about me but you still give me the benefit of the doubt. You're a little silly but that's the most charming part of you. Zhao Zi, from now on, I want to be that person you rely on! You can talk to me about anything that's troubling you. Since you take care of everybody else, let me be the one that takes care of you ..."  
  


Zhao Zi listened attentively. The genuineness of Jack's words was clear as day. This was the most serious he had seen him. His eyes were soft and focused as though the only thing he could see in this room was Zhao Zi's face.   
  


The movements of his lips were smooth but firm, indicating that these words all came from the bottom of his heat and Zhao Zi wanted so much to believe every word but he couldn't because ...  
  


"You said you were leaving!" Zhao Zi sounded upset as he whispered at last. His eyes reflected some anger mixed with terror. His lips quivered, instilling great fright that immediately put Jack's heart on edge.   
  


It seemed to finally dawn on him; Zhao Zi had been deflecting this whole time.   
  


"You keep saying you like me but then you're still leaving! What does that make you, a liar?" This was his first time hearing such an accusatory tone come out of Zhao Zi's mouth, and it made him feel like he had committed the greatest sin!  
  


He looked so helpless and angry sitting with his crossed legs, facing Jack. He inhaled and exhaled shallow breaths like he was about to suffer an asthmatic attack. 

  
Underneath the sudden outrage, it was clear to Jack that Zhao Zi felt the same way that he did. His heart was just beginning to skip for joy when Zhao Zi lost it!  
  


"Why do you want me so badly to say that I like you too? You don't even care how I'd feel if you one day decided to pack up and leave! ... you can't expect me to just give you everything and then abandon me immediately. That's not fair, Jack!" Zhao Zi sniffed and ineffectually fought back the tears.   
  


His adorable face had already started turning florid and heated. His childlike eyes became wet and soon tears were flowing down his soft cheeks.   
  


Jack was so stupefied he tried to say words but they seemed stuck in his throat. He beat himself up inside for making Zhao Zi cry. It was never, nor ever would be, his intention to do such a thing. This was someone he loved more than anything and wanted, above all else, to only ever make happy. He hated that instead of doing just that, he had hurt him.   
  


Zhao Zi was now full on sobbing. His tears endlessly flowed down until Jack couldn't take it anymore. Little whimpers accompanied by sniffs filled the room.   
  
  


He impetuously sprung forward and pulled Zhao Zi into a tight embrace. He felt as if he'd made the world's biggest mistake. He had not foreseen what impact his carelessly spoken words would actually have on Zhao Zi.   
  


"I'm sorry, Xiao Zi ...I'm so sorry for being such a bastard who hurt you..."  
  


Zhao Zi instantly pushed off and straightened his back. He used the back of his hand to messily wipe at the tears on his cheeks. His eyes were red and puffy, the sight of which made Jack feel like millions of tiny spears were being shot into his heart.   
  


"I can't like you, Jack," he sniffed softly, "I'm trying so much not to! Do you understand what I mean?"  
  


For Jack, his heart couldn't help but congest. The kind of love he harbored for this one person was strong enough to level an entire city.   
  


The work he did sure was important to him. He loved the thrill of the chase and the duplicity, the different cities and countries, the heaps of money his clients paid him... but the allure of all that dulled the day he met Zhao Zi.   
  


"I understand what you're saying ..."  
  


"Then you understand that I can't do this right now," Zhao Zi continued, "I can't say that I think about you a lot or that I'm constantly wondering where you are and if you're safe. I can't say any of that ....and I definitely can't say that I've fallen for you so hard I'm scared I'll lose myself if you go and leave me this way. I want to hate you but then I see you and I get so happy ..."  
  


Fuck! Zhao Zi had just confessed to him! Jack's pulse flatlined for a few seconds as if to prolong the moment in which Zhao Zi had so unorthodoxly opened up his heart.   
  


Jack reached forth with both his hands and used his thumbs to wipe at Zhao Zi's rosy cheeks. Despite this moment, the kind of joy Jack felt was staggering. 

He did not take back his hands but kept them on Zhao Zi's face, cradling it delicately. It felt like holding a rare flower. It was soft to the touch and Jack's lips ached to touch and kiss every inch of this supple skin.   
  


Even though Zhao Zi's face had ceased with the tears, his brows were still furrowed and and his lips frowned in a way that made him appear like a delicate thing, "Zhao Zi... the kind of work that I do is very dangerous. And, every now and then, I have to be on the move. I can't stay in one place for too long .."  
  
  


Zhao Zi had on this dumb look on his face. He was baffled as to why Jack felt like this was a form of explanation that could help put things into perspective or reassure him.   
  


".... I've never had a proper home because that's what my job is. I'm sorry I can't tell you more, but what I'm doing is almost being wrapped up and after that I may have to leave and maybe never come back ..."  
  
  


What was this? Was Jack saying goodbye? Zhao Zi dug his nails so hard into his palms trying to stop himself from flailing his hands and beating up this side of Jack that insisted on hurting him.   
  
  


He honestly wished Jack had not mentioned his leaving in the first place. Because, in that way, he wouldn't have had to go through such an extended, painful farewell.   
  
  


If he never knew that Jack intended to go far away then he would have spent these final days blissfully in the dark.  
  
  


"I was sitting alone, drinking and thinking and I realized one thing.... I cannot keep living frivolously like this. Not when I've finally found my purpose in life, and that is being your man. If I as much as set a foot out of this place without asking you this one question, I'd live the rest of my life in the most painful regret..."  
  
  
  


"Jack, please stop asking me if I like you back," warm tears trickled again, this time landing onto Jack's hands that were still sheltering Zhao Zi's face, "you already know my answer.."   
  


Jack negatively shook his head, "It's not that ..."  
  


"Then what is it?" By this time, there was a void inside Zhao Zi's chest. His heart felt exhausted.   
  


"Zhao Zi, will you ask me to stay..?" Jack's voice was resolute while his eyes searched Zhao Zi's.   
  
  


"What...?" Zhao Zi's tone came out low and shaky. What exactly did Jack mean by that?  
  


"Please ask me to stay!" Jack begged. He looked desperate and out of breath even though he hadn't done anything but sit there. He only needed to hear one word come out Zhao Zi's mouth to be able to breathe properly. Zhao Zi could see the anguish in Jack's eyes.   
  


"Jack ,.."  
  
  


"If you say I should stay then I'll drop everything! I will not take a step out that door if you say so... that's what I'm saying. You hold all the authority right now and I'm sorry if I'm putting too much pressure on you. ..I want to stay here and be with you for a long time as long as you want me to."  
  
  


"But ..what about your work and all the things you just told me?" Zhao Zi was lost.   
  


"None of it is as important as you! So, please, for once in your life be greedy and selfish. Ask of everything I can offer, including myself... my whole body.. my time and attention. All of it! . ..I will kneel and beg you if you say that's what you want so don't be afraid that you're wronging me. I'm yours. If you want my heart, say it and -"  
  
  


"STAY!"  
  


One word.

That one word that felt like his ears were stuffed with honey that oozed into his veins was finally spoken. And then once more for good measure, "Stay."  
  


"Really?" Jack was like a kid in a candy store who had just been told to have anything and everything he pleased.   
  


Suddenly, it was like the dam walls had burst as Zhao Zi couldn't hold back his tears. His puffed face became a waterfall as he cried his heart out, "Don't go anywhere even if I tell you to! You hear me? ..Don't ever think about it!" He couldn't believe this was happening. His Jack didn't want to leave him. He could finally express his love without his crippling fear of abandonment.   
  


He openly wept in front of Jack but one could clearly see that they were not tears of sadness. It was relief coupled with immense joy and thankfulness.   
  


Jack's own happiness was beyond measure. His hands slid down to cup Zhao Zi's neck then brought their foreheads together.   
  
  


Zhao Zi was hysterical and a sobbing mess but it was still the most beautiful sight Jack had ever witnessed, "Do you know how scared I've been ever since you said you were leaving?" He grasped the hands that held him so tightly as if if he let go, all of this would disappear into thin air.   
  
  


Feeling like his ribs were going to strangle his heart, Jack pulled Zhao Zi's quivering body into him and tightly embraced him. He let Zhao Zi cry into his neck until the sobs died down.   
  
  


"I love you, Zhao Zi.." Jack finally said the words he had been dying to say and lightly kissed Zhao Zi's hair while still holding him.   
  
  


A certain heat crept up Zhao Zi's body in that moment. His erratic heart beat harder than it had before. He loved the warmth that emanated from Jack's body to his. Every part of him tingled from the touch.   
  
  


It was foreign sensation, a kind he had never experienced before but when his heart told him to go for it, he couldn't disobey.   
  
  


His needs held an intensity that was hard to decipher but at the same time they led him into a conclusion.   
  
  


He moved his body so that he was on his knees on the couch. Lifting one leg, he shifted it to the other side of Jack into a straddling position.   
  


Now, sitting on Jack's lap like this, his eyes transformed into a lustful gaze that focused on Jack's lips.   
  
  


Jack could have died of happiness in this moment. It was almost unreal that this was happening.   
  


However, there was no time for second thoughts or backing down. Zhao Zi crashed their lips together with a degree of urgency that Jack responded to immediately.   
  


His hands lowered to Zhao Zi's waist and locked him close.   
  


The honeyed taste of Zhao Zi's lips swept Jack away from reality into a fantasy land where only incredible beauty and immense love flowed in abundance.   
  


Tongues danced together in solemn promise, a holy exchange of saliva recasting them into one being.   
  
  


Zhao Zi repeatedly ground his body into Jack, aching to be touched by Jack's manly hands so Jack did as Zhao Zi's body demanded.   
  
  


His skillful hands groped and squeezed Zhao Zi's skin, provoking a strong fireball that flew up Zhao Zi's gut. His lips kept kissing and moaning into Jack's mouth any time Jack touched a sensitive spot; and he had plenty of those.  
  
  


When they finally pulled apart for some air, they both panted like they'd just run a marathon.   
  


Their eyes remained connected, taking in each other's passion in a telepathic connection. The divineness of this moment was sublime. Zhao Zi's captivating mouth stretched out in a soft smile. He lovingly bent forward and kissed Jack's forehead.   
  
  


His heart was filled with relief and affection. He was relieved that he could do this, unbridled by uncertainties or such unpleasantries. He just wanted to live in this moment for as long as he could. _This night dare not end_!  
  
  


Jack's eyes admired this breathtaking sight before him. The lustful aura that glazed Zhao Zi's delicate features almost broke him apart. He lifted his hand ran it through Zhao Zi's hair and then admired him as an appraiser to a priceless artifact. His eyes shone at the sight.   
  


His rough thumb brushed across Zhao Zi's eyebrow while they fondly smiled into each other's eyes for a while.   
  
  


"Were you always such a good kisser?" Jack questioned playfully in a low tone.  
  
  
  


"You tell me," Zhao Zi responded calmly, carefully disguising the new storm that was wreaking havoc on his insides "You're my first."  
  


Jack's heart exploded with an immense sense of pride. Was he really the first and only person to ever taste the heavenly taste that lived on Zhao Zi's lips? "Really?" He couldn't help but smile.   
  


Zhao Zi simply nodded.   
  


"Fuck!" Jack cussed. Licentious sensations suddenly coursed through Jack's body.   
  


An animalistic instinct he couldn't explain took over his basic rationality. "Come here!" He rumbled like a caged animal. Urgently, he set Zhao Zi on his feet and, holding his hand, he pulled him upstairs into the bedroom.   
  
  


His hands went to work, hurriedly taking off Zhao Zi's shirt and then his own and tossed them aside together.   
  


His rough hands circled Zhao Zi's lower back and yanked him forward. He connected their lips and Zhao Zi reached up to the taller male and hooked his arms around his neck.   
  


His body was experiencing new sensations tonight for the first time in his life. Being held against such a rock hard body felt out of this world. The room got a strong testosterone charge, spreading through it an intoxicating manly scent.   
  


In the heat of the moment, Zhao Zi was thrown onto the soft bed and Jack descended on him, immediately taking his lips like they were the most essential breath of air.   
  
  


Jack trailed his way from Zhao Zi's lips and first rained light, feathery kisses on every inch of Zhao Zi's face. He took Zhao Zi's ear lobe and nimbly nibbled on it, causing Zhao Zi to shudder and suck in a sharp breath.   
  


Jack's lips travelled to his neck, kissing, sucking and biting at the tender skin, while Zhao Zi endlessly produced little cries of pleasure.   
  


He loved those sounds. He had a mind to bite harder and draw blood from the way he was feeling. His heart ballooned with more intense love as time passed by.   
  
  


He suddenly felt nostalgic being away for so long from Zhao Zi's lips. He rushed back to them and was wholly welcomed by Zhao Zi.   
  


Zhao Zi's body felt so hot he feared he might spontaneously combust any minute. But I was a sweet torture. He never knew the human body was capable of such sensations.  
  


He could feel the passion inside Jack as if it was something tangible. He squirmed all over the bed from the excessive stimulation. Jack's tongue worked wonders; sucking intensely on his hard nipples, caressing his skin using his silky tongue, kissing his naked body madly.   
  


All the while, Zhao Zi purred like a kitten does when being licked clean by its mother. His hands were all over Zhao Zi's hair, pulling like clutching at a straw to stay afloat.   
  


Without noticing it, he was fully naked, not knowing when Jack had ripped his pants and underwear off. He was lost in paradise.   
  
  


He wanted to shy away because he had never lay naked before anyone, especially a fellow man, but this was Jack. Something inside him reassured him that this was right. It was perfect. It was meant to be.   
  


When Jack kissed the inside of his thighs, he finally let out an ear-shattering moan that brought Jack out from his mania. He saw all the marks his mouth had left all over Zhao Zi's body, a proud sign that he had left a form of branding, like he now only belonged to him. 

He reassuringly kissed Zhao Zi's mouth, "Has someone ever kissed your body like this?"   
  
  


"Never ..." Zhao Zi was in awe! If Jack's mouth and hands capable of such things then what if he deployed his entire body? Wouldn't he so easily break him into a million pieces!  
  
  


"Tonight, I want to show you what you've been missing," Jack breathed heavily while his manly scent filled Zhao Zi's nostrils, "This is to thank you for making me the happiest man in the world ... for letting me love you."  
  
  


Zhao Zi's face turned into an even deeper shade of red. He bit into his nails as he looked back into Jack's sincere eyes feebly, "You told me to be selfish..." His tone came out soft and soothing with an undertone of happiness.   
  
  


His eyes glistened with a thin layer of tears of joy.   
  
  


"I'm proud of you..of your selfishness," as Jack spoke, Zhao Zi possessively wrapped his slender legs around Jack's waist.   
  


"You're not leaving me, right?" His insecurity stemmed from somewhere deep that he had tried his best to hide but now that he felt such pure bliss, he had to reassure himself that it was never going away, "Will you stay with me forever?"  
  
  


He would absolutely die if one day he woke up and this was all gone. He had just started to believe and the ecstasy he was experiencing was surreal. The juxtaposition of the life he had lived before and this moment, laying underneath the warm body of the one who loved him, was too large.   
  
  


"I promise," Jack brushed Zhao Zi's face and kissed it, "I'll always be here. ..with you. And I will love only you."  
  


Hearing those words brought extreme comfort to Zhao Zi's heart. A single tear fell down the side of his face as he whispered, "I love you, too, Jack. So much!"  
  
  


Jack's chest clenched again. He covered Zhao Zi's mouth with his and swallowed every little whimper down his throat.   
  


Zhao Zi's kisses were frantic and needy. It felt as if he was trying to suck out some peace of mind out of Jack.   
  


That night, as the rain pelted down mercilessly outside, Jack had only one mission in his mind: to make his Zhao Zi experience the most exquisite level of pleasure that he would never forget for as long as he lived. Problems of the world would simply have to wait as he was about to learn this bewitching body inch by inch, like a prophet to a scroll issued by god. 


End file.
